Sobbing like mad, I cant remember when was the last time I cried so hard for something. I couldn't catch my breath. Now my reason isn't because of company, it's because I can't accept the fact that I went through so much shit and I have to do this kind of work now.

No one to pour my sorrows to, what am I suppose to do?
It's unfair for me, why am I the one?

This turning point is too wide a turn for me,
I am tipping over.

Sob

Slept at 3am, woke up at 7am. Usually I would sleep till 10am, I dont know why.

I miss my friends.....sobsob..

Give me a slightest chance of hope....

I scraped my previous post that I wanted to blog about 1 week plus ago, something about responsibility. But now, I guess that post will deem redundant......

I am posted to 2PDF, something that I thought it wouldnt be so bad, but until the other person who went with me was......someone which everyone in my course disliked. My superior was also puzzled why he came here, I dont know why too. It's a mental torture, seriously to be around him. It's just....disturbing I would say. Even other people who met him for the first time said, "Ya, can see, he's abit slow." Pardon me, abit?! It's like we are using i7 core now, he's still using Pentium 1. Maybe I guess that's why he was posted here. He wont get to see the vehicle, let alone touching the steering wheel. Maybe that's why he was posted here to keep him out from trouble.

I am still depressed that I have to spend the rest of my NS life with him, my encik still tell me to try accepting him for the way he is. Please, if I were to accept the way he is, and make him my friend, I would be retarded, and I would have already done so earlier since I knew him 4 months ago. Being around him is degrading my intelligence, his strange accent, and impoliteness to interrupt other people's conversation is the key factor that everyone dislikes him. I dont even want to look at him when I speak with him. Is he that oblivious to how other people treat him? Or he is trying hard to get people to accept him?

I dont feel guilty right now, badmouthing about him. Maybe this is my retribution for treating like that during the training days. But who cares, working with me will not be easy especially when it's him.

I really hope that I can go back to the active unit. I really missed driving the vehicle. That is one factor, the other factor would be I missed all my friends. Being here alone sucks, especially with someone that I cannot and dont want to communicate with.

This feeling sucks, and am I always the one to experience this?

I am exhausted........